Have you ever felt lost? Maybe you weren’t sure of what to do next or where to go next. Maybe it felt like you were following a map and you reached the edge of that map with no idea which path you’re supposed to take next to get to your destination. That’s what I feel like sometimes.
Lately, I feel like I’m walking down a dark path and I stop and yell out to see if someone can direct me. I know someone is there willing to, but I can’t quite make out where they are telling me to go. So, I keep walking down the path I’m sure is the right one and in a short while, I yell out again to see if the person I know is out there somewhere can tell me the way, but I end up with the same result. That pretty much sums up my spiritual life these days. I know someone’s there trying to tell me where I should go next, but I can’t quite make out what they are saying.
As I’ve reflected on this feeling, not really one if despair, but more of confused longing, I keep focusing on something I read a couple of years back in the Guide for Catechist, which was issued in 1993 by the Congregation for the Evangelization of Peoples. It states, “To help catechists in their spiritual life, spiritual direction should be made available” (#22) and “… spiritual direction is very important, as it touches the depths of a person’s soul and helps open it to God’s grace” (#28). Additionally, as I’ve read other blogs, such as Joe Paprocki’s Catechist’s Journey, he has mentioned once or twice about the benefits of spiritual direction, even for the laity. I also have recalled a news piece a few years back where the Holy Father himself encouraged everyone to seek spiritual direction.
This is a journey that I have contemplated taking from time to time. I’ve given myself the excuses that I don’t have time, or that a potential director’s time would be better spent on someone else, that this is not for me, etc. And those times that I’ve brushed aside all those excuses, I’ve faced apprehension, intimidation and at times, downright fear of the process. That smells like attachment to me, and not in any good sense.
So, enough is enough. It has become quite clear to me that I am being called to find a companion to help guide me down the path and to help me interpret what that voice, God’s voice, is actually guiding me to do. I’ve been fortunate to find a number of resources to help prepare me for this journey. Sites like Catholic Spiritual Direction have been extremely eye opening. A number of other bloggers like Fr. Charles Sammons from a minor friar and Becky Eldredge from Everything Is Holy Now have inspired me through some of their blog posts and comments to take this very important next step in my spiritual journey. As a final step in preparing to begin the process, I’ve also discovered and have been reading “Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within” by Thomas Dubay, S.M. on the Catholic Spiritual Direction site. I’m almost done with reading the book and it has proven to be a wonderful resource!! I would highly recommend it to anyone who is considering finding a spiritual director.
My initial meeting with my new director is tomorrow. I have mixed feelings of excitement and apprehension, but I am committed to this process and am looking forward to seeing where God is leading me next in my spiritual journey. Please pray for me as I take this next step down the path unknown with the Lord.
Until next time, keep sharing the faith.