6 + 6 = Awkward
Posted By Carlos on June 4, 2009
I’d like to think that I’m ready for anything when it comes to my class. I prepare pretty well for what I’m going to cover. I know the material and if all else fails, I have my own Catholic upbringing and understanding to fall back on. So with this prideful comfort, the occasional dose of humility is not a bad thing.
The day we reviewed the Ten Commandments and tied them to the Greatest Commandments given to us by Jesus, I thought I’d take the opportunity to also review an Examination of Conscience based on the Ten Commandments. The reason I chose to do this was to expand their understanding from the very literal view they had of them.
I began to explain to them that each Commandment was thematic in nature and besides the obvious literal meaning, they each had implied meanings as well. We went through each Commandment and I offered them an expanded view of it. This generated questions like:
“You mean if I miss Mass on Sunday because I my parents go too early and I want to sleep, that’s against the First Commandment?” If you choose to not go to any Mass, not the one on Saturday night, nor one at a different time on Sunday, they you would be violating both the First and Third Commandments, the First for making sleep more important then God and the Third for missing Mass.
“Why does not listening to teachers break the Fourth Commandment? They aren’t my parents.” The Forth Commandment speaks of people with authority over you. Beyond your parents, that can include people like your grandparents or other family members, your teachers, Father here at the Church, police officers and your boss when you get older, among others. They are all an extension of your parents, so to speak, and deserve your respect. Remember that the next time you decide not to behave in this class. ;)
“Com’on!! Being lazy is a sin??” By being lazy, you are taking time away from more important things that you should be doing. Therefore, being lazy is like stealing; but instead of stealing a physical item, you are stealing time. There is a time for resting, when all is done; but being lazy is choosing to rest or waste time instead of doing other more important things that you are responsible for.
“What is adultery?” The Sixth Commandment talks about being faithful to your spouse or your station in life. (A girl raises her hand so I assume there is a question and I call on her.) “You know, the sex sins are the hardest to resist.” Um…Uh…Um…
Never in a million years would I have expected that statement to come up in a sixth grade religion class. It took me completely by surprise and for the first time, I had nothing to say. It was somewhat awkward and I think I squeezed out a “Yes, they can be” and moved on. While I’m sure I responded quickly, it felt like an eternity as I scrambled to come up with a response. Her statement was no where in my lexicon when I was in 6th grade and I was stunned at the fact that 6th graders could be concerned about this. I felt like an ostrich with his head in the sand, completely unaware of what was really going on around me and my response made me feel like I was hiding from it.
Upon reflection, I know the Holy Spirit offered me a little dose of humility at that moment, however I can’t help but feel that I missed an opportunity with the class there. This is clearly something that is on their minds and at least one student felt comfortable enough to voice it in my class. But, where do you draw the line? I can just imagine parents’ reactions to students saying, “You’ll never guess what we talked about in religion class tonight!”
Has anyone else had to deal with this, maybe at a slightly older grade level? How do you cover this material? Where do you draw the line? What is appropriate to say and what is better directed elsewhere?
Nonetheless, Catechists should be forewarned! Covering the Sixth Commandment in a 6th Grade class can lead to an awkward moment. For me, 6 + 6 does equal “Awkward”!
About the author
I deal with it in 6th grade as well. First, early in the year I discuss what I call ‘married love’ without any physical details. God is love > God creates because love is creative> men & women marry, and their love, in cooperation with God’s love, also creates…it creates children.
Anytime kids want details, or want to talk about physical sex, I respond like this:
‘This isn’t a Sex Ed class, it’s a Religious Ed class.’
or
‘We’re not going to discuss plumbing while we talk about sex (or married love).’
or
‘Ask your parents if you want details. I’m your Religion teacher, not your parent.’
or
‘That’s not how I think about sex; I’m a married adult. I think in terms of love.’
I haven’t had any problem with my kids about sex.
Thank you Christian. This is helpful for me in framing a response to those kinds of questions. I think I still need to give more thought to responding to the “sex sins” questions, distinguishing them from just run-of-the-mill “sex” questions.
It’s probably appropriate, at some level, to discuss the sinfulness of sex outside of marriage. Maybe the best approach is to focus on the sin as opposed to the act and explain why it’s sinful and why it’s important to resist the temptation.
I guess for me, I can understand having that kind of discussion with a high school student, as opposed to a young middle schooler. My class still says “Ooooo! You said a bad word!” :P I would have never thought I’d have to deal with this topic at this age. At least I’ll be expecting it next time.
Thanks again for your guidance.
Part of my goal is to take their interest/ curiosity about physical sex, and channel it into what’s important about sex in terms of children, marriage, love, faithfulness. Most of what I say comes from my personal reflections on my own marriage, wife, and children, and is reinforced by bits of Abraham, Sara & Isaac, Adam & Eve, David & Bathsheba, Psalm 128, Jesus & his bride, etc.
“Oh, y’all wanna talk about SEX? Alright, we’re gonna talk about it the way married adults talk about it, not kids. I have 5 children, so I’m an expert……”
See, I did have my head in the sand!!
Well, I’m blind no more!
Read the source article at National Review Online.
That’s timely!
I notice one of the girls refers to self-esteem. What she means is self-respect.
Hi,
Myself , my husband and 6 of our 7 children ( the 7th is an adult ) are entering RCIA and 2 of the girls are going into a special class with a Special ed teacher who attends our church. Do you have any tips , books etc for getting a child with high functioning Autism ready for entering into the Faith? The church as a total has no set curriculum for kids with Autism. Although Boston has one , it seems too be on a place by place basis. 1 in 150 kids are on the Autism Spectrum . Its a matter that the Church as a whole is going to have to deal with.
you put 6+6= Fish my son has a joke that 2+2= Fish your blog title made me smile.
TY for your time :)
Dana
VTSunrise, what wonderful news that you are making your way to the Catholic Church! I’m very excited for you and your family and may God bless you all in your journey.
Unfortunately, I do not have any experience working with children with Autism. I’m afraid I can;t offer you any advice or tips. I’m sure that they tailor the curriculum to the specific student and I’m glad they have a Special Ed teacher to help your two girls as they make their journey.
You mentioned that Boston has a program that they seem to use as needed. Have you tried calling the Office of Religious Education for the archdiocese to get some tips? If you haven’t and you need their contact information, just send me an email and I’ll gladly forward it to you.
Hi Carlos
Your story is just like mine. i am presently doing my reflection and I find that I have been catechized. When I volunteered three years ago to teach my daughter first year confirmation class to three years I really did not expect all that growth. My faith journey started about 4 years prior to volunteering and as I look back I see that the Holy Spirit had outlined a spiritual plan for me which manifested itself in my saying yes to the call. First call was to become a lector, then volunteer as an animator, then attend ultreya before doing the Cursillio weekend then doing it, then choosing to teach catechism. the experience continues to be faith forming and today I am proud that I answered the call for the Holy Spirit has ignited in those I have catechized an excitement to serve Him and to do so with an openness to God the father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That joy sustains me as a catechist today and am ready for September whatever class am assigned. My spiritual journey continues.